And now like you mean it

Make the connection

2012-01-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

This week I came face to face with reality. As part of my animal health training I am required to work a certain number of shifts at the Animal Care and Control Center, better known as the city pound. It is one thing to hear that there are a lot of unwanted animals and it is quite another to face a roomful of animals that are waiting their turn for euthanasia. Suddenly there is a connection.

I have started to notice that most people don't want the connection, no one wants to face that because its heartbreaking and ugly, and in the moment I felt hopeless. This goes for all the things that we turn a blind eye to because we can. I know that there are starving people, war and injustice just to name a few, but these things are easily put out of our heads because they don't effect us personally. The world needs people like us to make connections to the world around us. This is how we become the change we want to see. I could talk your face off about how important it is to support rescue groups and to spay or neuter your pet after making my connection. Obviously you can't become an advocate for every cause out there, but find something you care about and get passionate about it. The charities Silent River gives to is a great place to start. Don't be afraid to get out there, it's when we stop sticking our heads in the sand that change happens.

New Year

2011-12-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

2012 is almost here, in the past I have made hollow new year's resolutions but in the last few years I have just resolved to make the new year better than the last, taking whatever steps I needed to make it happen. This "resolution" has served me well. I am finding more and more people my age (in their 30's) are resigning themselves to domesticity, to a boring life that they must endure or worse yet letting go of their own goals so they can give 100% of themselves to be a great mom or dad, something that will backfire in their near future. I read a friends status on facebook on his 31st birthday, it read- "spent a quiet day at home, perfect for a 31st birthday, couldn't imagine a more boring age to be". It was sad actually, I wanted to tell him he's not doing it right. I plan on making every year that I have count, there are so many cliches about regrets, but they are so true. When I go to bed at night I want to be a better person than I was when I woke up. That is my life long resolution.

the Ultimate Black Belt Test

2011-12-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Great title right? When I talk about the Ultimate Black Belt Test or blog about it, I always use the much easier abbreviation of UBBT, and in doing so I think I tend to forget what it really means. Ultimate... wow. When I think about the ultimate anything it's pretty amazing, and so has this process been for me. This has been my third consecutive UBBT and next year I will not be a part of the new UBBT/ I Ho Chaun and it feels kind of weird. It feels a little like I'm in kindergarten and my parents just dropped me off at school. Can I do this on my own?

I started this process as a green belt and Sifu Brinker told me what a great opportunity it was because I was getting a head start on what it was like to be a Sihing. I had never set so many goals that I followed through on as I did that year. I learned a lot about discipline and being accountable. I got so much accomplished that I have stayed a part of the UBBT every year since. I have made a lot of good habits that I will take with me; acts of kindness, daily pushups & situps and taking the stairs or the long way just to get those extra kms everyday just to name a few.

I do believe that the Ultimate Black Belt Test is only "ultimate" if you give it everything. You have to commit yourself to the process and above all be accountable. Your going to have your ups and downs and fall behind where you thought you would excel, but if you know the no quitting requirement is not an option for you you will accomplish great things.

almost there

2011-12-14T18:15:00.000-08:00

I know I'm supposed to stay in the moment, but I can't wait for this week to be over! I'm looking forward to being able to spend more time on my kung fu, right now it barely feels like I'm making it to class and practice let along fix anything. Only two more days. Just have to keep breathing.

a little scattered

2011-12-08T12:36:00.001-08:00

I didn't blog last week, and this week is almost over too. I wrote a few different blogs and deleted them, they were just too negative. I feel really spread thin right now. I am trying to figure out what the heck I was thinking when I decided to grade this year and take on 10 courses at the same time. Finals are here, 10 written and 4 practical. Chantal's birthday is today and she is having 4 friends sleep over this weekend. Practice Friday night. Dragon dance practice Saturday. Class Monday and Wednesday nights, Christmas concert, 2 or 3 finals per day next week. I need to cook dinner, make lunches, hopefully shower a few times in there, fix my form and techniques for next practice, and actually studying for those finals might be a good idea. People ask me if I'm "ready for Christmas" and I keep going oh ya, that's happening this year too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, this is my life and I enjoy it, but things are a tad crazy right now. I'm going to be as organized and on task as much as humanly possible the next week and a half. I'm going to have to focus on what I am doing at that particular time and shut out everything else... that's going to be a tough one. I find I'm just saying random words in my head during kung fu for my medical terminology test, or while sitting in class I find myself thinking about what the green belts are going to do for the Chinese New Years banquet. "Where am I and what am I doing?" is going to be my mantra this week.

A little inspiration for some perspiration!

2011-11-25T14:37:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot to blog this week! Time is just flying by these days. Life is a bit of a three ring circus right now, but whose isn't right? I've written and deleted two different posts now, blogging has been more of a challenge lately because I feel like if I write about what is happening in my life I could just copy and paste my post from last week. Life continues to be hectic and my schedule looks the same... wake up, go to school, go to kung fu, sleep and repeat.

I am struggling to find ways to inspire some of my students, how can I make this matter to them, how do I find a connection that means something to them? If there is no connection for you, there is no passion, no interest. The green belts are working on stick for the Chinese new year demo, and I want to light a fire under them, some of them have it, some don't. Sifu Playter has agreed to come into the class and provide a little inspiration with a demo. I hope that having something to aspire to will do the trick for a few of them, if any of you need a little inspiration as far as your stick practice goes you are welcome to watch the end of the black dragons class on Monday... Sifu Playter's dedication and skill to weapons will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, which is exactly what I want the green belts to do on Chinese new year. Have a good week everyone!

Good reading

2011-11-17T20:30:00.000-08:00

There was a lot of really great blog posts this week, I always read the journal entries before I blog to see where everyone is at and sometimes for inspiration in my own entry. Even so, I don't have much to say this week, I'm struggling to stay on track in a few aspects of my life as there are a lot of things that are all supposed to be my #1 priority. I don't want to complain, it's just hard to put into words and I'm sure everyone has felt this way at some time or another. I do know that I can do this, I just have to keep on truckin', and sometimes just staying the course is the hardest thing. Today I had a nap for the first time in almost a year and it was pretty wonderful so I can't complain. Have a good week everyone.

time

2011-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

It's a long weekend and it feels like early Christmas. Free time is hard to come by these days. For awhile I was resenting other people's free time and what they did in it, or rather the lack of what they did in it. Fellow students at school would talk about how they watched T.V. instead of studying or went to the bar and I would get so exasperated, thinking you are absolutely squandering all that free time! What I wouldn't give for that time! But I do have free time, I just have less than some, but still more than others and maybe it's in smaller pockets rather than hours at a time. Being very busy has made me appreciate the moments I have more than I used to. If traffic is good and I get home 15 minutes early I can have a tea with Adrien before I leave for kung fu and he leaves for work... 15 minutes didn't used to seem like much but now it's like a little oasis in the desert. Taking an extra 10 minutes to say goodnight to the kids and talk about their concerns at the end of the day allows us to reconnect and feel close, and I feel recharged enough to keep my nose in the books a little longer. Losing most of my leisure time has improved the quality of the time I do have, so no matter how busy we get, because it seems like we're all running all the time, take your 5 minutes and really enjoy it and don't think about what is going to happen after that 5 minutes- take it and get the most out of it because you've earned it.

Lucky

2011-11-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about how lucky I am. I would like to say that I think some people's idea of "luck" is a little skewed before I continue. There is a big difference between working hard for something and luck. I've had people say "oh your so lucky" about something that I've worked really hard for and I kind of resent it a little. Luck had nothing to do with us buying a house for example, we had to work hard and save the money, and we continue to work hard to keep it!

Some things are "luck" if you will. I am very lucky to have been born in Canada, especially as a woman. I try to imagine what it would be like to have been born into a society that considered me a second class citizen, a possession even, based on my gender-I can't imagine it. I am lucky to have the opportunity to go back to school so I can have a career I love. Last year I upgraded and I worked hard and got good grades (something else that people consider "luck" when its plain hard work) and I got a small scholarship, nothing crazy, $500. I have been waiting for my cheque in the mail, thinking of all the things I couldn't wait to get with my hard earned cash. I realized I am lucky to have the luxury to spend money on things I don't really need. I started to think about the girls in Malawi who have so little control over what happens in their lives, how unattainable education is for most of them, based on the place they were born and their gender. I realized that $500 would mean a heck of a lot more to one of them than it will to me. Do I really care more about he boots I wanted than changing a life? No, I really don't. So, I will be happily sending my scholarship on to one of the Malawi girls, it just seems right.

That's a big pile of wood you've got there

2011-10-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Today one of the vets that teaches my anatomy and physiology class was talking about the stress that a lot of students experience at this time of year and how it's important to address any problems you may be having. He used the analogy of chopping a huge amount of wood. You have this massive pile of wood you have to chop and the axe your using is dull, someone comes by and suggests that you sharpen your axe to make the job easier and you reply, "I don't have time for that! I'm too busy, I have this huge pile of wood to chop!"

It makes a lot of sense when someone presents it to you like that, but I know how hard it can be to stop and sharpen the axe, even when it seems like your stopping the forward momentum you feel you have. When all we do is forge ahead in a daunting task without regard for how we get there (as long as I just get there!) we'll usually find that we're going to have to go back anyway and clean up the mess we made on the way. As I try to progress with my kung fu, I will try to keep my axe sharp and move forward with purpose and efficiency, rather than blindly hacking my way.

Internal kung fu

2011-10-19T18:26:00.000-07:00

This week is all about applying my kung fu to the rest of my life. I have been reminding myself to breath in and out, to focus on what I'm doing, if I've made a mistake it's ok, I'm moving on and focusing on what is in front of me. I actually relaxed so much in between questions during a timed station to station exam I think I fell asleep for a second- granted it was monday morning, but still! Today in clinic I had a uncooperative dog in a wicked side mount... no seriously trying to throw off the guys in san shou prepared me more than I knew for animal restraint. This week has and will continue to be one of the most mentally challenging ones yet, I can hardly wait for midterms to be over! With 10 courses on my plate it's going to take awhile. I can't wait to get out of the books and onto the mats.

insert ominous music here

2011-10-11T15:38:00.001-07:00

There is so much going through my head right now I'm having a hard time narrowing anything down to write about. Everything in time is referenced against this Saturday.... before grading and after grading. I feel a little like I'm trying to brace myself to get punched in the face... are you ever ready for that? Ok, all kidding aside I have worked hard this year but it always feels like I could use more time to make everything better. Have a good week everyone, see you on the other side (of Saturday!)

you never know

2011-10-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

As a member of Silent River I've come to know a lot of people in our community, and I have caught myself a few times when I was driving or at the grocery store, tempted to act a certain way in retaliation to something- maybe getting cut off for example- and remembering that the driver of that car could be a parent of a student. How embarrassing would it be to flip someone the bird and then meet them in the parking lot 5 minutes later and introduce yourself as their child's instructor? The same thing goes for being just about anywhere- having coffee with a friend and someone overhears a rude comment or bad language maybe. It's made me very aware that people will always be around to hear what you have to say or see what you do. Whether we like it or not we are constantly being judged on what we say and do. You never know if it will come back to you. Today there was an incident at school where someone did something that has bit them in the behind. Most of me can't believe how stupid it was and the other tiny bit feels bad for this person because they'll probably never be able to show their face again, and we've all done our share of stupid things we wish we could take back. It was just a reminder to me to speak and act in a way that I can be proud of no matter who hears or sees me.

almost forgot!

2011-09-23T18:52:00.001-07:00

Almost forgot to blog this week! I think it's just an indication to me of how fast time is flying by these days. School is keeping me busy and kung fu is keeping me REALLY busy. I have my days that feel like I'm walking a tightrope and I'm ok, but a slight breeze could send me over the side. Despite the occasional feeling of impending doom, I'm really enjoying myself. School is really really interesting, one of the best choices I've made as an adult was the one to go back to school. Kung fu is pretty great too, again despite that impending doom feeling once in awhile. I stopped taking my recovery supplement to see if there were any permanent changes in inflammation and there hasn't been, my hands are falling asleep at night and the old familiar pain in my elbows is back, so it's right back on the supplement, not a bad thing, just an expensive one. I'm really looking forward to fitness class and dragon dance practice tomorrow, my shoulders are tight from hunching over a desk! Happy training everyone and say sphygmomanometer 10 times fast for your mental work out!

Good week

2011-09-13T12:00:00.001-07:00

Not much going on this week, more of the same. I had a really great training weekend, fitness class was really high energy and sunday a few of the sihings got together for our last run through of the fitness test. A huge thanks to the sifus who took hours out of their weekends to be there for us, I know time is valuable so it was much appreciated. Going to class Monday and Wednesday's are making it really hard to do much for homework so I am still trying to learn how to balance those days a little better. It's been a good week over all.

training and studying

2011-09-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

This week is back to real life, school and kung fu. The renos look amazing, Sihings Lindstrom and Weibe did a great job spearheading the projects and I know that there was at least on night they were there until after 2 am tiling... that's commitment!

I definitely feel like school is taking away from my training right now, the homework load is pretty heavy, there is an unreal amount of memorization. I do get a good calf workout everyday taking ten flights of stairs in the parkade, I'm trying to decrease the time it takes me every day. This Sunday the Sihings are going to do our last run through of the fitness test before grading so that's a good thing. It's crazy to think about how little time is left until the big day.

So the days are really full again and I'm on a tighter schedule, but I feel good and strong about my kung fu and it will be great stress relief when I take a break from the books.

Have a good week everyone!

Goals

2011-08-31T16:57:00.000-07:00

So I started school again this Monday...it was really, really hard to get out of bed. I am finally taking Animal Health, something I've said I was going to do since I was about 10, although I wonder sometimes about how wise it was to take on 10 courses and my black belt grading at the same time. I was thinking back to some of the goals I had set for myself in the past few years and it was pretty cool actually. I had made a list of 43 things I wanted to do during my first go around of the UBBT and the coming years, this was UBBT 6 so a few years ago. I actually did a lot of them. I got my motorcycle license, got good at kempo 2, did at least one pull up, held my horse stance for 5 minutes, and a lot of my personal goals too.

In the last few years I have gotten a lot done and made big changes in my life. I will give all the credit to being a part of the UBBT. I had never set actual goals for myself, always vague things I thought I might do someday. I have learned how to set a goal and follow through and in doing so I have gotten a lot less afraid of failure- I can't say I enjoy it but I have learned that failing isn't the worst thing that can happen. I have really learned to put myself out there and fail over and over and publicly too. It's been good for me.

Looking over my goals of 3 years ago was really good for me, sometimes I feel like I haven't progressed in my training or personal life and it was fun to see how many things I have accomplished and the ways I've changed and taken another path. Happy training everyone.

tweak

2011-08-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

We are heading to Jasper in the morning for one last family get away before the summer is over. I'll have a lot to think about on the way and during practice. Sifu T. Playter helped me tweak my front thrust and side heel kicks tonight and I feel such a difference in power and center. Isn't it funny, you practice something so often and a difference of a few degrees in a foot position makes such a dramatic change. School starts for me a week from today, I am excited to finally start the animal health program but I'm worried that my training will suffer. I'm going to have fuller days I guess. There is so little time until grading! Have a good week everyone!

Hi Sam!

2011-08-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

This week has been a big week already. I finally broke some boards! I had a really powerful "skidoosh" moment (I just watched Kung Fu Panda 2) when I turned and saw that last board and it broke so perfectly. The entire blue brown class applauded me and my daughter ran over and hugged me...Adrien was there smiling and so was Sifu Brinker. At that point I actually felt a little like Kung Fu Panda myself! I realize I'm really playing this up, but it felt pretty awesome and as most of you know I've been agonizing over the boards for a few months now.

At the UBBT meeting this week I talked about my struggle with the boards to all of my team mates. Sifu Brinker pointed out what a great learning experience this has been for me, yes, including not breaking my boards and then bringing them home to stomp on, and then burn, and instead bouncing off "like a raisin off an Oldsmobile". Those board would have made excellent construction material.

I do need to break again but I feel that my mental block is gone, and it has been quite the learning experience. I feel confident that I can repeat my breaks successfully again. OK, I'm officially done talking about boards!

same old

2011-08-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've been really wishy washy with what I wanted to write about this week, it feels like I'm always writing about the same things. But kung fu is on my mind 24/7 right now. Every day there is ups and downs and always the anxiety about being ready to grade in October, and whether I will even be eligible to grade if I don't break my boards one day soon. One good thing about NOT breaking boards in front of a whole bunch of people is that it really gets rid of any ego you may have been harboring. I feel like a brand new white belt. It has also been a very good wake up call about my technique- the boards don't allow anything less than perfect, and it's humbling.

Today I got some much needed perspective after reading a blog post. Suddenly all of the things that feel insurmountable seem so small in comparison to the hurdles some people face. There is a lot to be learned from others about how to face adversity with strength and positivity rather than buckling and admitting defeat.

Time flies

2011-08-03T20:51:00.000-07:00

August is off to a busy start. In less than a month I'll be back in school and we'll only be about a month from grading. Where did the summer go? Although I have put a lot of work into my kung fu it seems like there is always tons to work on.

This week has been a tough personal week, there has been a lot going on unrelated and also related to kung fu. As always my training mates have been super supportive and inspiring, what would I do without this place?

I've seen a huge difference in my older daughter's attitude towards kung fu lately. Something really clicked for her last week during class when the benefits of having a training partner were discussed. She found a training buddy (my training partners daughter) and also asked me to train with her. She has been practicing at home and taking initiative in class- asking Sifus questions etc. Tonight she got a stripe for the stick basics she's been working on, the timing couldn't have been more perfect to reinforce what some hard work can do. It's awesome to see the fire in her eyes, she's already planning her next goal, and I have another training buddy.

back to work

2011-07-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

This week it was really back to work. My training was a little sporadic when I was on holidays and travelling, but this week it's back on track. I have noticed a huge difference in my endurance from this time last year. I remember when I struggled to run the entire 2 km run, what a difference a year has made.

Board breaking is on the brain again. This Friday is another opportunity to break my boards. I almost don't want to talk about it because it makes me nervous, but this time around I'm trying to think about breaking the boards while deep breathing and trying to calm some of the anxiety surrounding it. I am practicing my setup so that I can feel confident and not rush myself. It's amazing how much power our brain has over our bodies. That sounds ridiculous, but I mean it in the way that our brains perceive a threat (or anxiety etc.) and our body is subjected to the adrenaline dump or whatever other response our brains see fit to send out. I am trying to learn how to control that response so that I don't shut down or get a case of the shakes when it's my turn to break on Friday. Wish me luck!

It's all around us

2011-07-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

I've been in kung fu for about 4 years now and the longer I'm there the more people I meet from the community. Having the opportunity to be a children's instructor has expanded the web of people I've gotten to know. It seems that more and more these days that every time I'm out running errands or working out or at some kind of school event for the kids I see someone from kung fu- student or parent of a student. The students of Silent River are a kind of "Project Mayhem" group (name that movie)- but in a much less destructive way of course. We're everywhere. We are the co- worker that goes out of their way to help out, we are the people holding the door and picking up garbage, we are the reliable hardworking employee, we are out in the community doing good things and changing the world! I know that sometimes we all struggle with the idea that what we're doing makes a difference in the world or that the kind things we do everyday to make other peoples lives easier, happier or better aren't significant. But they really are, and I see it when I'm out in my community. The values that we all share as students of Silent River Kung Fu have changed people's lives and continue to do so. Not only do the little things we do add up to big things, but they influence others to do the same- in our schools, at work and everywhere in between.

Taking it inside

2011-07-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

Where is the line between training hard and training smart? I have posted about this before, but it's on my mind again this week. I think I've been my own worst enemy on the road to recovery. It has become very apparent the last few weeks that I've developed bad habits while trying to adapt my training to injuries. I hate to admit it, but it's all been ego. I have given up certain aspects of training- like push ups for example- but slowing down my punches or not hitting the heavy bag full force was not an option, everyone else is doing it and if I'm not then where is the "martial" in my martial arts? It's even harder being in a class where there are students that I don't know because I don't want anyone to think that I'm breakable or something- they have no idea of my history. Holy ego batman! I have never judged a student or a Sifu if I saw them doing a modified version of something or backed away from sparring for example. So why do I feel like I am going to be thought of in a certain way if I'm doing the same? The students of Silent River are an amazing group- I don't think I'm being judged by them, it's all me and my silly ego. I am trying to let go of the idea that I have some kind of image I need to uphold and smarten up. I didn't join kung fu for an image. I need to remind myself now that it's time to work on inner strength and the rest will follow in time. This is going to be a time of inner growth for me- I think it's going to be the toughest challenge yet.

Training partner

2011-07-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

One of the best things I've found to help my training in the last few months is my training partner. I've always been more of a loner, I never played team sports and I have a hard time relying on others. There are many, many times that I have not wanted to work out and have made myself go because my training partner is waiting for me- only to find out she didn't want to work out either and is there for the same reason. Some of my best training days have come out of that situation. She forces me to push my limits- especially with running- and encourages every step of the way. I am thankful to have someone who can kick my butt along the road and I can kick hers when she needs it too. Thanks for kicking my butt Robyn!

Skidoosh!

2011-06-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Like everyone else, boot camp was the big event for me this week. I went in feeling pretty sorry for myself as I did not break my boards as hoped the night before. As always it was a challenging day and I had no choice but to think about the task at hand. Anyone who has attended boot camp knows that high you get at the end of the day after the run and the group is standing together, it's an amazing feeling. Most people never get to experience the kind of camaraderie you feel after going through something like boot camp together- it's really something special. I left feeling much more at peace with myself and with a more positive outlook on the board breaking. My confidence is still pretty shaky but I hope over the month until my next opportunity I can rebuild that and put twice the work in that I did before, I will try to see this as a chance to get better rather than a failure.

This was the third boot camp that I have attended and I felt that it was the most physically challenging one yet, and the most rewarding. I had no choice but to drop my feeling sorry for myself attitude and work my butt off with a great group of people that supported and inspired me all day. Thanks to everyone who was there and the Sifus who took the time to put together such a great experience.

Technique

2011-06-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

We always talk about technique being the most important base to our kung fu before speed, accuracy and realism. This week I've had to go back to the basics- technique. I failed to break my boards at the tournament (due to lack of good technique) so this Friday is my opportunity. I have been practicing my breaking sequence over and over focusing on crane stance, chambering my side kick, foot position and connecting my hips into my kicks. I feel better about the techniques every day, I just hope my nerves don't get the best of me on Friday.

My training partner and I got some good advice on how to improve our time for the shuttle run- surprise! it's technique! By changing my technique for the shuttle run I took 20 seconds off my previous time, which is HUGE! It's amazing how many hurdles I have overcome that I never thought I would. I will continue to work on technique and I'm looking forward to the challenge of boot camp this weekend.

Z's

2011-06-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Recording my training this week continues to be a good tool for me. I have decided to narrow my focus as far as practicing techniques and try to get more repetition on one or two techniques rather than trying to cover a bunch. This will help me become more familiar and comfortable with the curriculum. I think this will improve my foot work, which needs a lot of work too.

This weekend some of the Sihings got together and did the run through of the fitness test. We got through it faster this time, but not as fast as we'll need to. At the end of the month we'll do it again at boot camp and we'll be pushed harder and have less rest time. I'm looking forward to the challenge and it's less intimidating than it usually is because we've been doing it once a month.

I've been doing some reading about endurance training and I realized I've totally neglected an important part of my training, getting enough sleep. Getting enough sleep helps prevent injury, promote recovery and allows you to train hard. It sounds silly but this is something I need to work on. This week my focus will be on triangle stepping pattern and practicing techniques for my board breaks.

An unexpected vehicle breakdown is making it more challenging to get to class this week, especially with the kids as the only transportation I will have is the motorcycle. We are going to have "class" at home tonight. Happy training everyone.

2011-06-07T19:20:00.001-07:00

It's been a week since I started tracking my daily training with a few other members of the UBBT student group. More than anything it's made me realize I need to train more. I find that if I don't have something really specific planned I don't get much done. That is going to be my newest short term goal- to have a specific daily plan for my training rather than just "training".

Today and tomorrow I am taking my first aid and CPR, so although I'd rather be doing something more active it is very productive and it's another step towards grading in October. Some of the Sihings are getting together again this Sunday for a fitness test run through. I am grateful to be part of such a motivated and encouraging group. I will be able to do push ups and timed punches on the heavy bag this time thanks to the Recovery supplement I've been taking. Although I still need to watch how much I do with my upper body it feels so good to even be doing 10 push ups right now. Have a good week everyone!

In my head

2011-05-31T18:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a strange week. I've been having a hard time getting out of my head about my training. I am having one of those lulls where I have no confidence in anything I do. I have been doing a few different things to try and clear my head this week- mostly taking the bike out. I don't know why being on a motorcycle is close to meditation but it works. Tonight I took a ride out to the kwoon to drop off my assignment and I came close to laying down the bike. Someone wasn't paying attention and made a left in front of me. I truly believe that if I wasn't in the moment and totally focussed someone would be picking me up off the pavement right now. What an adrenaline dump that was.

It was a good reminder to stay in the moment and stay focussed on what I'm doing right now. I am going to work on making my training like meditation for me, something I can do and shut my brain off to the million and one voices and thoughts that are constantly surrounding us.

I'm spending too much time on titles

2011-05-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be too optimistic, but the new supplement I've been taking feels a little like a miracle. The pain in my elbows is almost gone and my wrists and shoulders feel great. We did focus pad work last Friday with roundhouse kicks and I was able to hold the pads for my partner with no problems and no pain the next day. I did bag work the following morning in the fitness class with no soreness the next day. I am able to practice my forms without feeling like I'm overextending everything...crossing my fingers this continues!

The in house tournament is this Saturday and I have the opportunity to break boards and make it count towards my black belt grading. I'm nervous about this, probably more than I need to be, but I've been dreaming about it which means I've officially over thought it. I am practicing tomorrow so hopefully it goes well and my wrist doesn't buckle or anything weird.

I will be performing lao gar at the tournament, a form I haven't perfected by any means but I wanted to push myself to get better at it so setting it as my tournament form is ensuring that I put a lot of time into it.

Lots to work on as always, but I can hardly wait for the board breaks to be over!

Recovery

2011-05-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am in a constant struggle with myself. Patience and progressing wisely and pushing myself and training hard. I am starting to realize that I can still do both but I will admit to a bit of an ego that is holding back my recovery. I enjoy being a woman who can play hard. I like sparring, take downs and grappling. There is a part of me that is proud of the bumps and bruises I've gotten along the way. I didn't mind being the only woman in the San Shou class, even though it meant I got my butt handed to me most days. I always felt like if there was something that a lot of people were worried about doing I should jump in head first; I think in a way I am always trying to prove myself. I don't know if it's because I thought if I didn't I would be perceived as weaker or softer, and for some reason, to me, that was a fate worse than death.

So now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I have continued to train in a way that has further aggravated my injuries. I'm between a rock and a hard place. It's take it easy or nothing. The first thing to change has to be my attitude. I have to stop seeing things I can't do as a weakness, I have plenty of great examples at the kwoon of people who train hard around injuries or limitations. I need to be creative- learning new ways to get the most out of my training while listening to my body. I will focus on the aspects of my training that I can push myself and make those the best they can be.

I have finally started a supplement regime for my joints and I am crossing my fingers that I will see results. Being forced to slow down has changed my perception of myself and those who train around me also coping with injuries or limitations. I will stop seeing these things as weaknesses, rather as an opportunity to focus and gain strength in other areas. Here's to recovery!

hand shoes

2011-05-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

I had a great workout today. I haven't run in over a year, trying to give my feet a rest. I got myself some funky shoes, vibram five finger toe shoes, and I ran in them today. I am very happy with how the run went, my feet didn't hurt and I can see a noticeable difference in my cardio. Running has always been a struggle for me, so it's a good day. Worked on forms with a partner and got a ton of great feedback and things to work on.

I injured my elbow last Friday so, yet again, my arms are resting. Still feels like there are nothing but setbacks with gaining upper body strength. Push ups and pull ups are part of the black belt grading, so I will have to get creative because right now I am at zero for both.

The ice has melted off the lake and although I will need to wear a full wetsuit with water shoes and a neoprene hat, there is a possibility of going windsurfing tomorrow for the first time this season. It's a good day.

busy

2011-05-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

Lots of kung fu this week, I have really increased the amount of training I'm doing everyday now that I'm out of school. My body is certainly feeling it! I attended the forms seminar on Saturday and finally learned the rest of lao gar, it's been a long time coming. It was a really positive experience and I was really impressed with the caliber of everyones forms when it came time to perform. I look forward to getting the nuances of the form now that I know all the moves. I am trying out a pre workout supplement recommended by a fellow student and I will continue to read the book about inflammation that I bought and never got to finish. Hopefully I can find some solutions to help me with my shoulders and wrists and regain some ground with all things upper body. I got myself some shoes and I will attempt to run again, hopefully the new shoes will help support my feet as the foot issues I've had have not resolved themselves with rest. All in all it's been a great start to the month.

woot!

2011-04-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

It's time to take a big breath in and out. Finished exams today, it's a relief but so far I'm having trouble not feeling like I should be remembering something. I am looking forward to having the freedom to attend daytime classes at the kwoon again, and when school is out for the kids, night classes as well. My goal right now is to make a new plan for my daily training, which I will be able to spend much more time on. Have a good week everyone.

the sun is here!

2011-04-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

I'm late blogging this week, just a lot going on and not much to say about it. Final exams are next week so it's nose to the grindstone all weekend with a short break to see the in laws on Saturday. I feel like a pale, squashy bug you find under a rock right now from all the time spent inside. I can't wait to go out and enjoy the sunshine that is finally here. I'll miss training with my team mates this weekend, but I'll be back full force with all of my attention focused on kung fu next week. Have a good long weekend everyone.

Supersaturated

2011-04-13T18:54:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to memorize the speech Mastery by Stewart Emery this month as one of my Sihing requirements for black belt. At this point I only have the first 3 lines memorized, which is not where I'd like to be with this, I'm finding I lose information when I put more in. In chemistry when a solution can't dissolve anymore solute then it's saturated, you can heat a solution to make it dissolve more solute, then it's supersaturated. This is the state of my brain right now, supersaturated! Although this is a challenge, I am finding it motivational, it's a really great speech and it's made me remember that the effort I put in right now will have equal results. You can't expect excellence from mediocrity.

Best Laid Plans

2011-04-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a valuable lesson I've learned over the past two weeks: do it now (whatever it is that needs to be done) because you have no idea what's going to get in your way even 5 minutes from now. Of course, I've learned this lesson the hard way, in case you were wondering. While it is a good idea to plan to do certain things regularly putting them off until that mythical "later" is a bad idea... "later" never comes...it's like the end of the rainbow. All that free time I keep wishing for is a pipe dream.

Finals are a few weeks away and the date to grading looms closer and closer. Right now I just have to keep telling myself that all it takes now is discipline. I've worked hard to get where I am, I just have to keep it up at this point.

Have a good week everyone, keep it up!

Crunch!

2011-03-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

This week is crazy busy. I really need to stay focused right now in order to get everything done. I need to resist the temptation to close the books and relax. I need to focus on prioritizing. I need to use my time wisely, get push ups and sit ups and forms reps in during breaks. I need to remember to take some deep breaths and center myself. I need to remember that getting sleep is important. I need to remind myself that this hectic pace will not continue forever. I need to realize the road to mastery is a harder journey than the path to mediocrity. This is my mantra this week.

Wishing for spring

2011-03-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's kind of the same old same old this week. Open training and fitness class on Saturdays has become something I really look forward too. The fitness class has been a great stress reliever...it's good to get really sweaty and disgusting sometimes. Open training has been an opportunity to work through the curriculum with the other Sihings. I feel lucky to be part of such a good group going for black belt this year, everyone is really supportive and most of us are part of the UBBT group as well which adds to the camaraderie.

This week in practice I realized that I'd been doing a move wrong in 2 different forms- one in the opening bow-ouch! and the same for a few techniques, just small things I've slowly changed over time that have officially gone awry at this point. This just proves to me that practice is always important- even when I think I know something in and out there is always room for improvement. That being said, I'm going to get some reps and practice in. My goal this week is to concentrate hard enough that all the snow melts!

bits

2011-03-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

It's been an all or nothing week in regards to training. Saturday was an awesome training day with the other Sihings going over curriculum and sorting out techniques, learned a few more moves of lau gar and learned about a muscle I didn't know I had. The rest of the week has been mediocre, the one night I got to more than 10 minutes in was great, but it doesn't feel like enough. There are 5 weeks of school left and I can feel the pressure. The hours of homework are whats keeping me from kung fu. I know this is a terrible cliche, but I feel like a jack of all trades, master of none.

There are valuable lessons to be learned from being spread thin though. I enjoy my free time immensely, having time to clean the house feels like a treat. I have become a much more organized person, I have learned to prioritize, which has always been a problem for me. I still need to learn how to stay in the moment and keep my focus narrowed to what I'm working on instead of thinking about what I'm not working on. I guess it's a work in progress. So for now training is a 10 minutes at a time style, but I can't wait for Saturday!

one step forward...

2011-03-08T18:17:00.001-08:00

Not much to say this week, I just caught up on most of my numbers just in time to be laid flat by a virus. I guess when I kick this I'll be playing catch up again. The UBBT group from Silent River is journalling our food for a month. I like this challenge not only because it keeps us mindful of what we're eating, but it also brings the team closer together. I feel like this group is really engaged, and it's great to be a part of it. See you all next week.

I'm getting buried out here.

2011-02-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

I think winter is here forever, just get used to the inevitable everyone! Although the unwanted snow keeps coming, it does give me an opportunity to do acts of kindness for the seniors in Stony Plain. The two driveways our our group keeps up belong to some really sweet seniors. Sometimes when your out there shoveling and it's snowing and blowing up the back of your jacket it's hard to feel warm and fuzzy about doing good, but when a senior citizen opens the door and hands you some home made treats and says thank you so much, it puts a face to who your helping, and I realize all over again why we do this every year.

This week I feel like I fully realized the vast scope of what I need to be working on in order to be ready to test for black belt in October. Sometimes I think other people have more faith in me than they should. I don't know if I will be ready. There are days that I drive home and I think of all the homework in my backpack and the grade point average I want to maintain, the dinner to make, the kung fu class to teach, the kids to put to bed, my dwindling numbers on physout and all the training I should be doing every night and all the time I want to spend hiding my head under a pillow and it seems insurmountable. I know that all the others who are part of the UBBT or Sihings preparing for black belt are in the same boat, but I guess I felt sorry for myself this week. I suppose I just pull up my socks and keep on keeping on. The snow will have to melt sooner or later, and thats probably all thats got me feeling like I need a vacation right now.

Showing up

2011-02-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

It's reading week, which means I have no school for a week, yahoo! My biggest goal is to catch up on my requirements that I fell behind on while studying for my midterms. Today I did a whole bunch of nothing, it was pretty great. My workout kept getting postponed throughout the day for other, less important, but easier things. Why is it so hard to get going? Once I got down to the basement and turned on some music, I had a great workout and an hour flew by. I think the key to success in my training is going to be showing up. You can't help but get better when you show up. Just making yourself drop for pushups isn't that hard after you've made yourself get down there. How many times have I been dead tired and didn't want to go to class but I went and had the best class I've had in weeks, or had a light bulb turn on in my head about something. It's not hard to workout for an hour or practice techniques for an hour, it's getting there that's the hard part, and really thats the easiest part when you think about it.

fuel

2011-02-16T05:48:00.000-08:00

I have been doing a detox since last thursday, not the kind where you don't eat or you take a supplement, just a super clean eating kind of detox. I have given up coffee, it was really hard, especially during exams right now but it's done. I have noticed that I don't have the up and down tired times of day that I am used to. I have been feeling not so great the last few weeks so I wanted to give myself a jump start. Its funny how long it takes for it to occur to me that I don't feel well because of what I'm putting into my body. We're fueling a machine after all, and if you feed it junk then it's going to perform like junk. Every cell in our body is constantly working to do the job it's meant to perform and we persist in making it as hard for them as possible, it sounds crazy but we still do it, especially me. I will be working harder to make better choices for myself so I can train at my maximum potential

Feb. 8th

2011-02-08T18:25:00.001-08:00

The week is off to a slow start training wise, I haven't felt very well for the last week so I'm just keeping up right now. I had a great time at the Chinese New Years banquet, although I don't see a lot of it being in the basement getting the kids ready to go on stage, and myself as well. My little group of black dragons did well, I was really proud of them.

It was nice to talk with some of my training mates in a more informal setting, there is a really great group of Sihings and I'm excited that we're all going for black belt together. Not too much else, see you all next week.

This week

2011-02-01T21:17:00.001-08:00

It's been a pretty good week, I've been able to make it to open training and the fitness class on Saturdays. Thanks to some fellow Sihings I've learned more of Lou Gar this week too. My shoulder/elbow/wrist tendinitis finally seems to be getting better, I just have to be careful not to push my shoulders too much, which means my reps are a little low in that area, but I think I'll be able to catch up soon. I've had a setback with my feet, did some 360 jumps in a form I was practicing and I guess my feet weren't ready for it. The "trigger finger" condition I had in my hands is completely gone now, I'm really happy with that. I was supposed to start a supplement regime by January 15th, but that goal has been pushed back while I continue some reading. I got an interesting book called Stop Pain, it's about chronic pain and inflammation, so I'm hoping by the time I'm done it I'll have a better idea of where I should go regarding joint and muscle repair. The Chinese New Year banquet is this Saturday and I am last minute involved with the sparring demo. I am excited to be a part of it, but nervous because I really haven't sparred much in the last few months... gotta get on top of that sparring requirement! That's it for this week! Train hard everybody.

right here, right now

2011-01-25T19:52:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a memorial service for a friend. It was a really great experience, it was supposed to be a celebration of his life and it was. Many friends stood up to talk and share stories about him. Something that almost everyone said was how Dennis was always living in the moment. We talk a lot about living in the moment, being mindful of everything we do. It really got me thinking about not just applying living in the moment to my training, but to the things in my life I feel like I have to endure. The commute to and from school for example. The roads have been terrible the past few weeks and it was taking me over an hour each way, every day. We've all been stuck in traffic and know how excruciating it can be. I have been trying to think of it in other ways. Really, I have been forced into sitting and listening to music or whatever I choose to think about for 2+ hours a day. Thats actually kind of cool. I always feel like I am rushing from place to place during the week and here I have 10 hours a week to chill out and gather my thoughts. I've seen so many people in accidents the past few weeks, I can think about how grateful I am to still be ON the road and safe. Something that was said today that hit home for me was that happiness is right here, right now. It's not waiting for you in some distant place in the future. So I will strive to find happiness and gratitude right here, right now, wherever that may be.

Do you really think you could take me?

2011-01-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that everyone that trains in any kind of martial art has encountered a wise guy or girl that says something along the general lines of "ooo your in kung fu... do you think you can take me?" or " well, don't make her mad, she'll kick your butt". If you've never met someone like this, you will, it's inevitable. I don't know how many times big guys ask me if I seriously think I'd be able to defend myself against them. I sometimes wish that I didn't know better and I could take the guy out. Most people don't realize that martial arts aren't just about fighting, or that they should be about more than that. How does the saying go? With great power comes great responsibility. Part of becoming a martial artist is having control over the urge to take down the goofball who's mocking you with fake karate chops in the air while making Bruce Lee inspired sounds. While it would be super impressive to take someone out, it's not about proving you can beat up every guy that challenges you along the way. I would rather change the way people see martial arts by being humble and kind and striving to be the kind of person I would look up to. That being said, this is still pretty funny.

carpe diem

2011-01-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

My family lost a friend today, a great man, full of life. He was married to my Aunt Jan, who I've blogged about before and what an inspiration she is to me. Greg Garcia posted about losing a friend as well, and how you shouldn't wait for a doctor to tell you your times up to do the things you want to, or have put off. The UBBT has given me the tools to turn my life in that direction. When I joined UBBT 6 it was the first time I ever set concrete goals for myself and followed through with them. The last 2 years of my life have seen more personal growth and progress than the rest of my adult years combined. When you really take the no quitting requirement to heart and you DON'T QUIT you can accomplish great things. I feel privileged to be part of a group of people who are all seizing the day and making the most of the time they have.
Goodbye Dennis, you will be missed.

my goals for UBBT 8

2011-01-04T14:28:00.001-08:00

So here's my plan for UBBT 8:
50 000 sit ups
25 000 rows, 25 000 shoulder presses or flys this is in lieu of push ups which I am unable to do at this point in time due to injury
1000 reps forms
500 reps kempo
1000 acts of kindness
finish learning lao gar
52 sessions acupuncture or massage to maintain and repair old injuries
500 rounds of sparring, grappling or bag work
public board breaking at annual tournament
52 sessions partner based technique practice and application
52 sessions solo technique work
52 sessions cardio work geared to the black belt grading
1 month no movies or T.V.
52 sketches or other artwork
research and begin a supplement regime by Jan. 15th focusing on joint health and muscle repair
52 outings or "dates" alone with each of my daughters, Our quality time has been cut drastically since I've gone back to school.

I have some general goals as well. I'd like to maintain my average at school, eat less junk food and more vegetarian meals. I also plan to join the fitness class at Silent River and be a presence at open training as much as possible. Seeing everyones goals is really inspiring. I look forward to sharing everyones progress.

gearing up for the new year

2010-12-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

I am very excited for the coming new year. I've been doing a bit of reading about repairing and maintaining exercises I can be doing as well as some nutrition and supplement info for my lifestyle. I am looking forward to being in better shape and back into a routine, but a new and improved routine. I have been training very lightly the last few weeks, I feel like I was reaching a breaking point and my body was telling me to slow down, dull aches were becoming sharp pains. I still feel engaged and I am constantly thinking of my training and what I need to do for UBBT 8. I started drawing this week, something I haven't done in years but I had always loved it. I think I will incorporate that into my goals.
New Years day will start off with the Silent River Kung Fu UBBT team doing 1000 push ups and 1000 sit ups each. I will be doing a modified version of push ups: rows with resistance, light weight presses and flys instead of traditional push ups. It's a great way to come together as a team first thing and of course it gives you a nice running start to your numbers. Have a great new year everyone. See you in 2011.

one bite at a time

2010-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

I have been struggling with my goals for the new year and UBBT 8. The coming year scares me and I feel like hiding. I have decided to go for black belt in October and I feel so intimidated by it. I am trying to make my UBBT goals reflect the training I need to do to be ready by October but every time I sit down to write a plan I just hit a wall. I have this overwhelming feeling like there is too much to do. I have let the injuries pile up without taking care of any of them and consequently I feel that those are a huge hurdle to overcome as well. The sensible side of my brain knows I need to stop looking at the whole picture and break it down into manageable parts. Don't you love blogging? Just writing things down helps you come up with a good starting point.

The year in mini review

2010-12-14T20:17:00.001-08:00

I find it hard to put into words what the UBBT has done for me. Every thing that was promised and more, I suppose. The last two years of my life have been full of huge personal growth. I really do feel that I am a different person than I was before I started this process. When I read my blog entry "what the UBBT has done for me" from last year, it was just how I feel again at the end of this year. I think that it is such a part of my everyday life I forget how great it's been for me. UBBT 8 will be my third go, and its going to be all about focusing my training and repairing my body. It has become such a useful tool for me to set goals and then follow through. See you all next week.

homestretch

2010-12-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

Finals next week, and UBBT 7 is in it's last month. I feel spread thin right now, but finals will be over next week so I can focus fully on training, how nice that will be! I am really struggling with push ups now, I have very sharp pain in my wrists when they are bent. I'm sure everyone out there has their own bumps and bruises from the past year too. Well, its back to stoichiometry and the factor unit method... see you all next week.

Aunt Jan

2010-12-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

My aunt Jan is a real living hero. I know our living heroes can't be relatives, but this will just be an extra entry. My aunt Jan is my dads older sister and the most positive, loving, accepting woman I've ever met. She is like Yoda to me, a real Zen master. There has been so much tragedy in her life, the loss of her sisters, father, son, and two husbands: one to cancer and another in a car accident, but remains upbeat and loving. My aunt Jan came out to Edmonton a year ago when my dad was in the hospital. She and my dads best friend Dennis fell in love and she moved here to be with him. It was really lovely the two of them. Dennis was a confirmed bachelor in his early 70's and my aunt Jan just getting on with life after the loss of my uncle Cecil when they found each other. In august Dennis was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They married in the hospital a couple of months ago. Dennis is at home now, with my aunt Jan there taking care of him. She has done this before, so she takes care of all his needs, including feeding him through a stomach tube, so he doesn't need a live in nurse. I don't mean this to be a really depressing story about my aunt, rather it is an inspiration to me. The two of them are the definition of a happy couple. They are enjoying the time they have together, doing everything they can with the time they have. My aunt Jan is one of the few people who can really live in the moment. I strive to be like her. She is an angel on earth if there is such a thing. She is loving and giving, but she has the strength of a lion when she needs it, as she often has. I strive to be like her, she really is a living hero.

POW!

2010-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

We're coming up on the last month of UBBT 7, man did time fly by for me this year.
Last week Silent River had our annual sweatfest for money, otherwise known as pandamonium. It's a great excuse to get creative and get everyone sweating in new ways. One thing about this event is that there are always students who shine and really inspire you to try harder. I had the chance to help out in the adult beginner class the night they did their Pandamonium. It was set up as a circuit with stations and we rotated after a certain amount of time. I just stayed at the pushups and situps station and did them all class, great catch up for me. What impressed me the most is the students who have the hardest time doing this stuff, but put more into it than a lot of advanced students. It's the people who have passion for what they're doing and aren't afraid to struggle that always inspire others the most. I hope I never stop trying things because I think someone else might think I look stupid. I hope I always remember that my struggles might inspire someone else, just as others do to me. UBBT is supposed to be a struggle, it's the ULTIMATE BLACK BELT TEST after all. If you've fallen off the wagon, it doesn't mean you can't get back on as many times as you want, heck I do it about 4 times a week. I am going to finish this year with a bang!

small things

2010-11-17T19:11:00.000-08:00

I think everyone who is a part of the UBBT team has the 1000 acts of kindness as a requirement. We all know how good it feels to do an act of kindness for someone, even if that person doesn't know it was you. We all know how good it feels to be the one receiving an act of kindness, it makes you want to do something good in turn. How about an act of unkindness? What do you want to do when someone treats you badly, or cuts you off in traffic? You probably feel like round housing them to the head, or maybe a quick take down with a nice finishing reverse to the face. OK maybe that's harsh, but it doesn't make you want to do something kind for them, it makes you want to do something unkind. I feel like for every act of kindness that's paying its way forward around the world there are hundreds more acts of unkindness paying their way forward too. There is a woman who works at the deli where I shop and she is always cheerful and goes out of her way to give good service. One day there was a woman in front of me who treated her condescendingly and was very rude to her for no reason. When it was my turn the normally cheerful woman was grumpy and short with me. How many times have we done the same thing. Something happens to you that makes you mad and you snap at your kids or spouse or even friends for something you normally wouldn't. Although it will probably be hard the first few times, I encourage everyone to take every opportunity you can to repay and act of unkindness with an act of kindness. You can stop that bullet matrix style. Just say no, and pluck it out of the air and now it's lost it's power. You never know what has happened to someone, why certain things happen, but we can make the world a better place, or someones world better with such small actions.

mental organizing

2010-11-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

I have started to write and deleted everything about 3 times now. Why is journaling so hard? If this was something I was writing privately I would vent like crazy and it would make no sense to anyone but me. I guess I am being forced to organize my thoughts when I journal publicly. I'm going to go with a list about whats floating around in my head the past few days.

1. working at an emergency vet clinic is really cool, except when there is 3 critical animals and you don't know where anything is and are therefore useless to help people do their job, which is my job.
2. I have a friend with a mental illness and he is causing a huge amount of stress in my life and I don't know what to do about it.
3. I got my worst test mark last week and even though it was an 82% I could have done better and I can't stop kicking myself about it.
4. reading this list, I realize I am focusing on the negative this week.

ok, so there are things that are done, there are things that are out of my control, and things that will get better. Breathe in, breathe out, now move forward.

veggie month

2010-11-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the beginning of my one month vegetarian challenge. So far it's been really easy, but we're only 2 days in so we'll see how it goes. I really don't anticipate too many challenges, as about half of the meals we eat are already vegetarian. I always thought that some of the meat substitutes out there sounded and looked like they were unfit for human consumption, but I was pleasantly surprised tonight when we made veggie lasagna. We decided if someone had served it to us and we didn't know that it had no meat in it we wouldn't have been able to tell. The kids said they wanted to participate fully and not eat lunch meat at school, so the whole family is in. I'll be keeping track of how I feel this month and if there are changes in energy etc. Happy eating everyone.

thats all folks

2010-10-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to begin this week, I have a millions thoughts in my head, all going in different directions.
One thing I would like to do this week is make some concrete decisions about my training. I need to have a more solid plan. I think sitting down and coming up with some goals will coincide nicely with planning for UBBT 8.
I can't seem to gather my thoughts today, so thats it for this week, Cheers.

My brain is sweating

2010-10-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

There is a lot going on, as always. Mid terms this week, lots of mental exertion! Sometimes makes you feel more tired than physical exhaustion can. I had a couple of extra days off school last week so I filled in at the barn, my replacement quit. Turns out it's hard work. I don't think I fully appreciated how much I ruined my body working there for 2+ years. After 3 days of work the injuries flared up with a vengeance. My feet are going to be a work in progress for years I think. My neck is so sore because of the tension and mis-alignment of my shoulders. My elbow joints have been aching all week. I guess I realized that when we don't take care of ourselves all along, the road to recovery can be a lot longer.
On a good note, a group of us got to help out with a Habitat for Humanity project in Stony Plain. It was a ton of fun. I may quit school and start putting up vapor barrier in the ceilings of closets for a living. It seems I may have missed my calling in life. It was a great group with a really positive vibe all day. The guys running the show were a great bunch and very patient with all of the volunteers. Thanks to Sihing Kichko for organizing the opportunity for everyone.
Have a good week everyone!

when are you going to use that anyway?

2010-10-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

My older daughter started middle school this year, which means she is in grade five. The school is grade 5 to 9 which is a pretty big change for a small person. In my opinion this is when school can get tough. It's not all circle time and hand holding anymore.
Yesterday my daughter used kung fu to defend her cousin and herself.I don't know the details of the situation before it started. An older boy had her cousin in a bear hug and wouldn't let her go, Chantal told the boy to put her down and he wouldn't. Another boy grabbed her from behind. She took him down using the bear hug technique the kids learn at Silent River. The other boy still hadn't let go so she used a front kick to convince him. When he dropped her, Chantal said run, lets get out of here. Unfortunately, her cousin wanted to stay and finish fighting, but in the end, Chantal got her to leave. I was so thrilled to hear that she used a minimum of physical force, and that she actually knew what to do in the situation. Whenever we talk at home about defending yourself she has always worried about hurting someone,but she came through it very well. I am most proud of the fact that she tried to diffuse the confrontation with words first, and that she didn't try to stay and be hero afterwards. I think the most important things she has learned at kung fu are the ones that give her the confidence to stick up for someone and knowing she can defend herself if she needs to.

update

2010-10-04T19:38:00.001-07:00

I did an overall numbers check yesterday and I feel pretty good about my requirements. I was telling someone the other day that I need to be accountable to someone other than myself to be consistent, well, not all the time but it helps. The UBBT has really done that for me.
I've been seeing a lot of the techniques and forms in a different way since going to the white belt class. Being taught the basics again is so much more useful than I thought it would be. There are so many nuances that I have been missing that are make or break to a defense. So next month will be the vegetarian challenge, I'm looking forward to that. See you all next week.

Today was a good day

2010-09-28T18:32:00.001-07:00

I have never been more busy than I am these days. I have only been in school for a month now, but when I look back on the nights I had time for all of my requirements plus time for a movie it seems like a thousand years ago. My days and nights are full to the brim, mostly with new things. I have been attending the adult white/ yellow class for a couple of weeks and its a great look at where I came from, I hope that didn't sound insulting, but you do appreciate how far you've come from the beginning. The energy in the class is great as is the enthusiasm of the students. It's pretty inspiring. My brain is getting quite the workout these days as well. Sometimes the concepts are frustrating, but so far the hard work and hours hunched over the kitchen table are paying off. I am volunteering at a vet clinic to be able to apply for my program next year and its been great so far. Your supposed to do 80 hours of volunteer work because most people who drop out of the animal health program do so because they misunderstood what they would be doing. I have to say its as disgusting as I hoped it would be. I won't go into to many details but today there was a situation that involved maggots and pus... not for everyone, but I can't wait to get into it. I got to watch a couple surgeries today, one was a dog who'd been hit by a truck and had a broken back, it's truly amazing what these guys can do. I could go on and on here, but I think I'm the only one interested. So the gist of things is my life has never been so crazy, but today was a really good day.

september

2010-09-21T20:43:00.001-07:00

I'll apologize in advance for the lame blog entry. School is going well, I have ridiculous amounts of homework every night. It is more of a challenge these days to get my requirements done, but that's life right. I had a ton of fun training on saturday and I made the white belt class last week. The kids class I help out in has grown even more and I'm finding it more challenging to keep a large groups attention. Tons of stuff to think about as always.

something new

2010-09-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying training in the kwoons new wide open space. It feels really roomy in there. Last night there was 20+ kids in the black dragons class and I felt like we had so much more room. It still feels weird not to go to the 9 am class, but I am going to try to make the white belt evening classes to get some more training hours in.
I attended the forms seminar held at the kwoon this weekend and it was everything I hoped for. I made learning Lau Gar one of my forms requirements and as it is now a requirement for black belt it was good timing. I wasn't getting far on my own so the forms seminar was a perfect opportunity. I didn't get through the whole thing, maybe just over half or so. When it was time to perform I really choked and only got through the first few moves, which was fine I guess, I still learned most of the form otherwise. Basically I had about 4 hours of undivided black belt attention (thanks Sifu Wilson) teaching me the form of my choice. Pretty sweet. So I've got a lot of new things to work on as well as keeping up with the everyday. Always busy.

i hate titles

2010-09-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

The annual kwoon renovations were going on this week so there were no classes. I feel like I havn't been to class for a million years. You know how some days feel so long, not because they're boring, but because so much has happened. Like when something you did that morning feels like a week ago. I think it's just been a long week with all kinds of stuff going on so I feel like more time has passed than actually has.
So this week, sitting in chemistry, the professor starts talking about the scientific method, I had to actually clasp my hands together so I wouldn't raise my hand and ask him what he thought the REAL purpose of the scientific method was. That will make no sense to anyone except those of you who just finished the zen and the art requirement for Sihing class. Who knew kung fu helped you with chemistry?
I am really looking forward to returning to classes. Some days it was hard to go to classes because I was physically exhausted from work, but now I sit in a windowless classroom for 8 hours a day and the activity will be neccesary. Can't wait to train!

I can't believe it

2010-08-31T19:34:00.000-07:00

I never forget to blog, and I did yesterday. I guess I can't say I never forget to blog now. Yesterday was my first day back to school in 12 years. Scary. Luckily I had no time to feel worried about it, I've been hauling butt completing an assignment I thought I had another month to finish for kung fu.

So I've been doing a lot of people watching the past couple of days and there are a few things I've noticed. One is that most people don't make eye contact with each other on a casual level, say just walking past someone, or when your standing in a line up. Another is that despite what people are saying a lot of times their body language is saying the opposite. There are a lot of really self conscious people out there.
I feel like martial arts has played a huge role in my self esteem over the past few years. I was about the shyest person in the world as a kid and a young adult. I spent my life having my dad tell me to speak up and look at people when I was talking to them. As a teenager at my first few jobs, co workers would tell me they thought I was really stuck up before they got to know me because I would never talk or look at anyone.
It helps that I'm 30 now ( isn't age supposed to come with wisdom?), I'm much more comfortable in my skin, and I'm a mom too, thats changed me a lot. But kung fu has really given me an awareness of myself. I see it with others at the kwoon as well. Being a martial artist makes you move differently, carry yourself differently. I wouldn't claim to be a martial 'artist' yet, but it's definitley done some great things for me.

ch ch ch changes

2010-08-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

Lots of big changes in my life right now. I lay awake at night and think about them...its keeping me up which is frustrating. I am going back to school on Monday, Adrien starts a night shift this week,so our home life will have a totally different dynamic. I am leaving my job and I will no longer be able to attend my regular kung fu class. Today was my last day in the nine a.m. class. I don't know if I will have a regular class or if I'll have to float around and take it day to day.
It's a strange feeling. I know that good things await me in the future, it's just hard to let go of the comfortable day to day routine.
The Universe seems to have aligned for me to go to school. I have made so many contacts through my job and even random aquaintances that will help me make this come together.
I have no excuses, my success is up to me now.

What I did on my summer vacation

2010-08-18T17:53:00.000-07:00

I'm late posting this week, we've been doing a lot of camping over the past week and a half. We spent a few days in Jasper National Park, one of the highlights was hiking on Mount Edith Cavell and seeing the Angel glacier, it's behind me on the video. I wonder if anyone else has done push ups there? I hope I was the first.

Detour

2010-08-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

So as year two of non stop pushups continues, my shoulders, elbows and wrists hate me more and more. This morning I got out of bed early because my joints from shoulders down were aching too much to sleep. Its officially time to come up with an alternate plan for pushups.

My plan is to hold the plank position and do these sort of reverse rows with a tension band to put less stress on my joints. I will still be doing some regular pushups depending on how much pain I'm in.

The food journaling is going really well. I am more aware of what I'm eating through out the day as opposed to mindlessly snacking, as I tend to do when I'm bored. I even made myself my new favorite sandwich in my quest for more fruit and veggies. See you all next week!

food journal

2010-08-02T19:01:00.000-07:00

So Silent Rivers UBBT team will be doing a month long food journaling project. This decision was immediately followed by two days of camping where I ate like crap to say the least. At first I thought this was a great idea,but the idea of everyone knowing my bad habits is scary. I can see the value of this project already. Since I was away and I'm not set up on the food blog yet, I'll just post what I've eaten the past two days here. Beware.

August 1st

breakfast- 3 cups coffee (cringe), 1 whole wheat english muffin and 1 cup of pineapple

snack- handful almonds and a fruit to go

lunch- whole wheat bun with ham, cheese, pickles, tomatoes

dinner- (keep in mind we threw a birthday party for adriens mom and there were people and snacks everywhere)-taco chips with nacho dip, more taco chips with fresh salsa, a couple veggies and dip, 2 grilled chicken kebabs with red pepper mushrooms and onions, salad and a piece of birthday cake with ice cream and caramel sauce, yes I'm a pig and yes it was delicious.

I limited myself to one alcoholic beverage, knowing I'd be posting, so one malibu, orange juice with 7up.

August 2nd

breakfast-granola bar, 2 cups coffee

2nd breakfast (haha) 2 pancakes, 2 sausages with maple syrup

lunch- 2 smokies and 1/2 a tomato

snacks- garden grazing ( cherry tomatoes, peas and saskatoons), a few cherries

dinner-pasta with chicken and lemon, salad with lettuce from the garden

well, that was scary, until next week!

These boots weren't made for walking

2010-07-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

I was updating my numbers this week and I have completed one of my goals. I have walked 1000 miles or about 1600 kms so far this year. I have to say, it feels like it. My feet are killing me! I am way behind on my jui jitsu hours, maybe too far to catch up, but I am back doing at least an hour every week now that all my related injuries are healed. Pushups are my nemesis right now. I fall behind because my shoulders and elbows need a break and then I need to catch up. I'm sure a lot of people are experiencing the same thing as time goes on. It's injury vs. requirements.

My oldest daughter is 9 and she has been participating in the daytime kung fu class I normally attend when they are in school. She has really impressed me with her spirit. Last week the class did timed kicks, something she has never done. The next day she gets out of bed and says her legs hurt, she doesn't know why... I wanted to take a picture and put it in her baby book. First workout to ever make you sore the next day. It was great because now she'll be a little more sympathetic when Adrien and I are hobbling around the house as we do so often. I think it was also the first time she felt a real bond with her class mates after training. It's very cool to see her step up and push herself. If only I'd started martial arts at 4!

me- this week

2010-07-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

Tied up some loose ends this week, that always feels good. I've had the chance to train quite a bit too. It's amazing when you work on just one thing how it evolves, and this is over maybe half an hour. We've been talking about having an eye for detail and I'm trying to develop mine. I was practicing forms and I realized how much I zone out when I do them instead of thinking of what I'm doing. It's a work in progress.

There have been moments over the past months when I'm at the kwoon and I'm sprawled on the floor after a set of pushups or situps or just talking with someone after a class and I realize I'm almost as comfortable there as I am at home. There is definitely still the respect there for the kwoon and the instructors as well as the etiquette, but it's really my home away from home. I tried to imagine not being in kung fu and I really just couldn't. I couldn't even imagine who I would be without it.

I was talking to a co worker about the boot camp experience and she asked my why anyone would put themselves through that. There is no way to explain to someone who has never had to struggle through something or to push themselves to their limit and then beyond, how you come out the other side a changed person. A better person. I think that is what joining kung fu has done for me. I've gone way beyond what I ever thought I could possibly do physically and in turn I've realized I can go places I never thought in life as well.

Progressing wisely

2010-07-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

July has been a pretty good month so far, I'm still not caught up on my numbers, but I'm working on it. Although I am down to 2 days a week at work I am noticing all of my repetitive stress injuries a lot more. I don't know if it's because they have a few days to actually start healing and then the next day I go to work everything gets undone? Last Tuesday before San Shou class started Sifu Freitag was walking around doing the same arm/shoulder stretch thing that I always do for my shoulder pain. I asked her what was up with her shoulder and she said tendonitis. I haven't gone and gotten an actual diagnosis but it seems likely that the pain I'm having in both shoulders is tendonitis or bursitis. I know I have inflamed tendons in my hand which is causing the sticking when I flex my fingers and I know I have plantar fasciitis in my feet... the tendons separating from the bone. There seems to be trend here. Right now I feel like my biggest problem is not knowing when it's smart to rest and when I should be pushing through and training. I want to get better but I almost feel embarrassed sitting on the bench watching class instead of participating. Most of the people I know who have been training for more than a couple of years have chronic injuries, it's nothing new for someone in the martial arts. Why is it so hard to progress wisely?

the black belt success cycle

2010-07-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks there has been something bugging me, something besides the overuse of LOL everywhere. The general lack of effort that most people put into everything they do drives me absolutely bonkers. I can tolerate a lot from kids and co workers and friends, but people that don't care to put any time or thought into anything besides there appearance is the limit for me. When I'm around people like that I feel like there is a void I'm being sucked into, I feel like I'm trying to walk through mud.

Sadly it's these people that always complain about their bad luck and how there are so many obstacles in the way of them and their goals. These are the people that are always looking for the secret to success, or the easy way to get something.

Last week in Sihing class we talked about the black belt success cycle- Have a goal, make a plan and get a success coach, TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION, review your progress, and review your goal. Obviously,(or maybe not so obviously) this can be applied to any area of your life. I think it's easy for most of us to have goal and maybe even make a plan, but it's the consistent action part that's so hard.

Just like pushups the more I take consistent action in my life the easier it gets. I've figured out the secret! Too bad most people will be disappointed to know it involves a lot of hard work.

boot camp 2010

2010-06-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

I went to boot camp again this year. I read my journal entry after last years boot camp and it was cool to read my thoughts, there was a lot I forgot about. Last year I was sick for 2 months before and getting through that day was a real struggle for me. This year was a struggle too, but just in the good kind of way. Part of the day is the fitness test, which everyone dreads. It's the end of the day and it's tough. One of the things we do is timed kicks, front thrust, side heel, roundhouse, spinning back kick. One minute on each leg for each kick, so 8 minutes total. I find this excruciating. When we do this in class I almost always want to throw up. It's funny but at boot camp it's not like that. I don't know if it's the energy of all the people in there that keeps you going, or the do or die attitude, but its something special. There is a bond when you sweat and bleed and get sick on each other. I'm sure most of us have felt this with our training partners out there. I think the best part of the day is getting to the other side of it with everyone, having that shared experience, knowing everyone else there is just as exhausted as you...that they really get it. The camaraderie is pretty special. Here's to everyone that's still as sore as I am after the weekend!

summer slowdown

2010-06-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

So summer is officially here and I've been feeling the strain of keeping up with my requirements already. I think that the big difference for me this year will be having the phys out program telling me how many reps I need to do to catch up and my daily and weekly numbers to keep up. Last summer I kind of put my head in the sand and didn't look at my running total which made it almost impossible to catch up. I plan on this summer being different than the last.

I'm still fighting this cough that has been following me around. My cardio is suffering because of it but I'm hoping it will go away soon.

Silent River is having it's annual boot camp this Saturday so I'm gearing myself up for that. I went last year in not the best health, but got through the day and had a really positive experience. The agenda looks like it's going to be a great day. I'm hoping my lungs will co operate and I'll make it through that run at the end of the day.

month 6

2010-06-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Training this week has still been a little slow. I have this lingering cough that likes me so much it won't leave. This morning I had a really good class and sweat a lot and all that good stuff. I feel like I havn't been able to fully participate in class for awhile, so it was much needed. I think I'm good to go back to the San Shou class, my attendance has been pretty abysmal the past couple of months. I would love to recruit some other women for the class, but no one is interested. I don't mind sparring the guys, but in a traditional san shou or grappling match, it would be great to have someone my size to work with. We are almost halfway through UBBT 7 and I am in better shape numbers wise than I was last year so I feel good about that. Going to try to make the second

half better than the first.

1 step forward, 2 steps back

2010-06-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

Last week I caught up on numbers with all of my goals except one and I was feeling pretty good about it. This week I got knocked flat by a virus and I have done almost nothing. I have been spending my nights awake coughing up a lung and my days feeling dragged out from the nights. So I'm playing catch up this week again, I am hoping that I can regain some ground and that I will actually get to sleep tonight.

Good Karma

2010-05-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

I normally don't work Mondays but someone quit last week and I got called in. I like my Mondays so it was kind of a bummer, but good things happened! A woman who boards her horse at the barn owns the 24 hour vet clinics in Edmonton and said I could do my 80 hours of work at her clinics... hurray! Thats out of the way. She also told me the head of the Animal Health Program is a trainer who works with some of the boarders and their horses, so I hope that can work to my benefit as well. But now I'm tired and it's early to work tomorrow. Cheers!

It's the first day of kindergarten

2010-05-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

I got promoted to Sihing a few weeks ago and I was really excited to go to the Sihing class on Friday nights.Everyone always said it was a really great class, and it is. I think the biggest thing it has done for me is make me realize how much I don't know. I feel like a white belt again. I'm clumsy, I have no flow, my body won't follow the instructions my brain is giving it. Despite those things it's exciting. I know I will get better and I like the idea of being able to wrap my brain around some of the concepts we learn and be able to translate them into my techniques, combinations etc. Cheers until next week.

It's official

2010-05-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

I finally got my confirmation from NAIT last week, I'm officially headed back to school in September! I had decided not to say anything at work until I had my letter in hand. I've really been dreading quitting, since I am one of four employees. When I told my boss I said we had the whole summer to find a replacement for me, she said that no one could replace me. So that was pretty cool. What does this have to do with kung fu? Since I started UBBT 6 and continued on with 7, I have been consciously trying to do a better job on everything that I do, going out of my way to do things for others or to make sure that the job is done well, even though working in a barn doesn't require any special talents or skill. I have officially gone "out of the kwoon and into the world." I guess sometimes you don't realize that the baby steps you've taken have brought you so far. I like the fact that I will be remembered for my hard work.

Right Now

2010-05-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Last year at this time I was sick. My birthday and mothers day were days spent curled up in bed feeling terrible. It continued for months and I eventually got over whatever it was. I still don't know what it was, I remember all the different tests I had done and the time spent in the hospital and doctors offices. This weekend I was thinking of it and I started sweating, my heart raced and I got dizzy. I had a little anxiety attack just from the memory of how frustrating those months were.

So tonight while I did forms in the backyard I thought about how good it feels to be healthy and well. I felt my breath and my body work together and I felt happy to be where I am.

Tiger Challenge

2010-05-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

Silent River's Tiger Challenge was on Saturday, and as always it was a great event. I only participated in one event this year since I'm letting myself heal up, but I got a chance to help out more with score keeping etc. Both of my daughters are in kung fu and they were really excited about the tournament. My youngest daughter is 7 and she's a little firecracker. We always talk to the kids about how winning isn't the point of competing etc etc, and they always nod their heads and agree and say "we know mommy". But Teagan really likes winning, so she just says these things to make me happy, since she hasn't ever lost anything. So this year Teagan is in a group that has a bit of a wider range of ages and maybe she didn't practice as much as she could have. She went through all four of her events and didn't place. She held up pretty well and had good sportsmanship, but when I asked her if she was ok there were some tears. Every kid gets a participation medal, but she felt the loss of those gold medals of previous years. By the end of the day she had totally forgotten about not winning her events and told us what a fun time she had. There were so many people that told her what a good job she did and were a positive influence on her. She got to run around and play with a group of kids from the club after the kids events were over. The great community and positive atmosphere of Silent River made that day awesome for her, once again I am grateful to be a part of a club that promotes such a healthy outlook for it's big and little members.

It's just a dummy, dummy

2010-04-26T19:17:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day off and sometimes I almost don't enjoy the day off knowing that tomorrow it's back to the same old same old. But today Adrien and I went shopping for dummy materials. Adrien wanted to make a grappling dummy to practice techniques on. It was actually kind of fun and it took about an hour to make a somewhat lifelike practice dummy. As soon as the kids walked in the door from school they pounced on the thing.... I almost feel bad for this inanimate object. Half the time they want to pretend it's a prince or their future husband and the other half they're kicking him in the head and doing body slams on him. What a life. I feel a little sorry for myself too. I walked into the computer room to blog and my heart jumped into my throat because the stupid thing is sitting in the computer chair with it's bag glove hands on the keyboard "typing". Adrien just killed himself laughing and says he's been sitting there with butterflies in his stomach waiting for me to go in there and have a heart attack. He's having way too much fun with this thing! Cheers till next week.

Unexpected hiatus

2010-04-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

So I am taking a break from sparring for awhile. I did something gnarly to my leg in San Shou and I guess I've finally realized I need to let myself recover. It's so easy to tell someone else that there is no shame in taking time to heal and not to worry about what other people think when you can't do everything that the class is doing or to train as hard as everyone else. It is so darn hard to take my own advice it's literally painful. I had high hopes to spar in the upcoming tournament. I love sparring, and I work hard at it but I just don't know if I'll be ok by then. I always have the idea that I'll go and just take it easy, but that never happens. I feel like a horse, chafing at the bit, I just want to go but I can't.

Most boring post ever, no really.

2010-04-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

As always, I have been sitting here trying to think of what to blog about and I still haven't come up with anything, so I'm going to talk about my feet. Feel free to stop reading now, I won't be offended.
The sad condition of my feet has further deteriorated over the past two or three weeks, culminating in me roundhouse kicking the plastic base of the heavy bag with a good amount of force last week. I should add that I didn't do this on purpose, in case you were wondering. Of course I was kicking with the top of my foot in order to save my injured toes and ball of foot. So my entire foot is now a mess. I am pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis in both feet, so I'm wearing my runners to work instead of steel toe boots. Hopefully that won't backfire and the title of next weeks blog won't be I got stepped on by a 1300 pound horse. I finally broke down and bought some martial art type shoes to wear while I'm training. They seem OK, except I have a tendency to trip while walking on the mats. I'm sure in time this will be funny to me and not just other people. So here's hoping the shoes help, and I apologize for such a lengthy blog about my feet.

The old weight on your shoulders

2010-04-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

So it's the beginning of the fourth month into 7. It has become a way of life for my whole family. I was walking to the park with my kids and my older daughter spotted litter on the side of the alley and without missing a beat grabbed it and threw it in the trash. I know this is because she sees me doing this and it's nice to see such concrete evidence that they learn from what they see us doing.

In the past few weeks I have realized that I tend to hang onto negative thoughts or things that happen throughout the day. For example, I was at a store and there was a woman on a cell phone trying to get her shopping cart through a door with her kids in it, the door was slamming shut on her cart so I ran over and held it for her. She in no way acknowledged me and I thought to myself that that was kind of rude. Then I told my sister about it and we ended up talking about rude people. It ended up being quite the discussion about all the people that do things like that and how horrible they are. I don't want to be the person who's always whining about the people who don't say thank you etc. Negativity breeds negativity.
My kids had a book from the library with a bunch of short stories in them. One was about an old monk and a young monk walking in a busy town. A young lady dressed in her best and carrying many shopping bags runs into a large mud puddle. The old monk runs over, puts her on his back and carries her over the mud. She sticks her nose in the air and walks away with no word of thanks. The old monk and the young monk finish their business and continue walking. Young monk is fuming at the behavior of the young lady and finally says, aren't you angry that she treated you that way after what you did for her? Old monk says I put her down hours ago, why are you still carrying her?
So here's to putting down the things that I don't need to hang onto anymore. Cheers.

The big stuff and the little stuff

2010-03-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

I was in a big slump last week and I finally made a really big decision that I have hummed and hawed over for a long time now. I'm going back to school. This will be a big change for me and my family. I won't be working and my kids might have to be in early morning child care. It's kind of scary but in an exciting, top of the roller coaster kind of way. I am happy with this decision, and I feel good that I am working towards a career for myself.

The forms marathon was good, I did 99 forms in my 2 odd hours at the kwoon. My knees are really feeling it today. It was cool to be a link in that unbroken chain of forms. This reaffirms that it really doesn't take long to get in 5 forms a day.

We grappled in San Shou this week. We learned a mount escape and then our challenge was who could reverse positions fastest. I worked with Mr. Krebs and also fought him for my challenge. He got out of my mount in 15 seconds which kind of bummed me out, I figured there was no way I'd beat that. So on the bottom I couldn't pull off the mount escape we learned, but then for the first time I actually remembered something WHILE I was rolling and thought, hey, he's all tied up here so I trapped and rolled... and there it was 13 seconds! So in a very unsportsmanlike manner I jumped up with a big yahoo and my arms in the air, after which I apologized to Mr. Krebs for doing so. It was awesome to actually pull something off. So what if it's the first thing you learn grappling! So until next week, cheers.

I'm glad I went

2010-03-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a catch up week for me, my numbers aren't 100% caught up from vacation but I'm getting there.
I have missed a lot of my san shou class in the past month and a half. I hate to admit but doing traditional san shou with a bunch of guys took it's toll on me and I took a class off. I was gone for two weeks and last week I finally went to class. I had a terrible day, I was so sore and I didn't want to be there. I've never had a bad class but this one was exactly what I needed. Lots of sparring drills with a partner to get warmed up before our matches. My partner made me laugh and I felt looser than I had in a long time. I guess if you don't fight it sounds weird to say how relaxing it can be to punch and kick someone and especially to take those hits too. Getting a little banged up was just what the doctor ordered.

The honeymoons over

2010-03-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

So it's back to business as usual after having a week off of kung fu and 2 weeks off work. What a vacation! The time off was good, now that the old aches and pains are coming back I can see where they are originating. Good in a weird kind of way I guess. I had my first physio appointment today. I'm pretty stoked I actually made the appointment and got there after thinking of doing it for so long. I may have overwhelmed her with everything I want fixed though, it was kind of funny, at one point she ran out of paper. Maybe I just talk too much.
So I've noticed the "honeymoon" is over for a lot of people in regards to the UBBT. We are past the point where the excitement of starting isn't a big motivator anymore. Now we are starting the uphill climb. I'm feeling it myself, especially after taking a week off. At the beginning you couldn't read the blogs fast enough, there were so many. This is the part where I tell myself how happy I'll be when I look back and see how far I've come. I don't think anyone who puts that much time and effort into training and being a better person for a whole year can look back and think, huh maybe I should have just stayed where I was.

Warm places

2010-03-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

So I'm headed to Mexico tomorrow morning and I'm trying to cram in as many requirements as I can tonight. I think because so often I am going for numbers I have let some of my technique slip a little. Someone brought it to my attention and I've been thinking about it ever since. If I get 5 reps of kempo in and they suck then what was the point? Because I know I will be practicing this doesn't fall under the "practicing wrong is better than no practice at all" category. So I'm back to the basics once again, I seem to be ending up there a lot My mantra right now is mindful practice! I'll be blogging late next week, see you all then!

I can't think of a catchy title

2010-02-22T17:49:00.001-08:00

Silent Rivers Chinese New Year banquet was amazing as always. There always seems to be a resurgence of energy in the students after seeing the new black belts show us what they're made of. It's definitely something to aspire to. It was different to be backstage with the kids this year, I didn't sit and watch my kids perform as I usually do. I have so much respect for the kids instructors, anyone who can organize and wrangle that many kids with any semblance of order and without losing their cool is amazing in my books. It was fun to be in one of the lions to pick up the red packets, well, except when kids want to touch the lion and your sitting there bent over in the back of the lion... well, you can imagine. All in all an awesome night.

This has nothing to do with what I've been writing about but these are my random thoughts from the week. For a few different reasons death has been on my mind, not in a morbid way, just in the how it's a part of life kind of way. One thing is clear,the little things do make a difference a life well lived can leave a legacy that will be passed on long after we're gone.

ROAR!

2010-02-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

We've had some really nice weather the past week and it seems like everyone is in a good mood because of it. There is just something about feeling the sun on your face... without freezing winds accompanying, that makes you feel good. I had the opportunity to help out today at a family day winter carnival of sorts. It was more fun than I thought it would be, there were lots of cute kids and happy families. My own kids came and helped out with a few games of snowball toss, it was fun.

On another note, we rang in the Chinese New Year with another 1000 push ups and sit ups. My muscles don't feel it very much the next day like they used to. This was the hardest 1000 I've ever done in regards to my wrist joints though. I am uncertain what to do with the ever worsening wrist/hand situation that I have going on. Right now there is a lot of waiting and I feel like I'm chomping at the bit for a solution. Of course if I'd have gone to the doctor sooner, my six week wait would already be over. Lesson learned I guess. Take care of yourself and your injuries! Happy Year of the Tiger everyone!

The title is the worst part

2010-02-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

After blogging weekly for over a year, it is still one of the hardest things for me to do. I always sit here and stare at the screen and end up catalogueing my injuries as a blog entry. Exciting!
So just an update then I guess. Just about everything is on track right now and what I'm behind on is going to be caught up by the end of the week. It feels good. Some of the students are planning on doing another 1000 push ups and sit ups day on Chinese New Year so it will be nice to beef up those totals before I head to Mexico next month. I have someone new to work on jui jitsu with thats my size. It's pretty great, my ribs and sternum are happy about it. I suppose practicing with someone almost twice your size is like running with ankle and wrist weights on, when they're off your light as a feather! So here's to another productive week. Cheers.

One down, 11 to go

2010-02-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

Not much to say this week, I caught up a few of my numbers to finish January strong. The physout program that Adrien put out there for everyone has made all the difference.
There have been a few times this month where I've seen things happen that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Just strangers at the grocery store or where ever. It still blows me away that someone can knock down a stack of something and just walk away from it even though there are people behind that can't get around it. Or people that litter... I just think, really? really? you honestly don't care? There are a lot of indifferent people out there, sometimes I forget, being around so many people that are actively trying to make a difference in the world. I know most people that see you fixing or picking up something that someone else made a mess of are surprised. Most of them stare for a minute and say in a kind of disbelieving voice, that was really nice. I hope all those people that are out there doing their acts of kindness everyday influence at least one or two people over the course of the year to do the same. You never know who's watching you or that you may have inspired them to be a better person. I think this is one of the most important things we do in the UBBT and life.

Normal? I forgot what that feels like

2010-01-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

So I thought that this being my second UBBT that I would miss out on the wonderful seasoning process of burning muscles long unused and the accompanying aches and pains. This year seems to be starting out as the culmination to many small injuries compounding and turning into bigger injuries. This week I really realized how "out" I am. My upper back and shoulders haven't been right since I don't know when. There is a spot on my back that feels like there is a knife in it, in the sense that there is no relief or stretch that makes it feel better. My hands fall asleep before I shovel down the length of my walk, before I even get to the actual sidewalk. Last Tuesday seemed to be the last straw for my big toe. We grappled in San Shou class, which is the worst possible thing it seems for my sad little toe. The joint is so painful that I'm having trouble doing kicks and being in proper stances. I'm doing my push ups on one foot. Tape is no longer the answer. I know that one can expect to have aches and pains, bruises and whatnot being in martial arts, but there are some things that can be fixed. So, I am making next week the week to make appointments and figure out what the heck I can do to fix myself up, because as I have realized, although this has become normal for me, it shouldn't be. Despite my complaining it has been another great week, I find having my numbers on the computer and knowing others can see them really keeps me motivated at the end of a long day.

week 3

2010-01-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

My sister got married this weekend, all the preparation, driving and late nights really caught up with me. I had my nephew and their two dogs at my place too which really adds to the craziness. This morning after I got the kids on the bus I laid down and slept through my morning class. I realized at work that I had signed up to do warm up today too. It was embarrassing to see Sifu tonight and tell her that I slept through it. On the bright side I think I've caught up on my sleep.

So we have started a new semester in the San Shou class and it seems that I am the only woman in the class now. I don't mind working with guys at all, in fact I think in some ways it's an advantage to have a bigger person to work with. My husband is my partner for all the extra training that I do and I feel comfortable working closely with guys, but it doesn't always go both ways. A lot of times I am hopelessly out weighed and I suppose if I was skilled enough that wouldn't always be the deciding factor in my matches as far as grappling and traditional san shou goes but for now it is. I know that a lot of the guys in the class like to train a little harder and that can be tough when your worried about hurting your partner. I would love to say that I can take as much as any guy in the class can, but I can't. Adrien has almost crushed my ribs a few times practicing moves... I just can't support the weight of someone almost twice my size. I would love to recruit some women for the class, but there aren't many that are interested. So I guess this means I just have to get really good. My biggest problem is remembering what I've learned while I'm rolling. Practice, practice, practice!